I just got one of those Nigerian spam e-mails—you know, where the sender has a billion dollars that they need you to access for them, so please send them your bank account information. I don’t usually bother looking at these, but this time a few winning phrases caught my eye. For example,

My aim of writing is not to know you as i have no interest of knowing you and would not like to know you unless if needs be.

Well, you know, I did bathe this morning. However, the feeling is mutual.

But i am telling you this based on my believe as person who does not like evil or cheating and would not like to be called for explanation as a result of this information i am giving to you below.

Aha. You don’t like cheating, and you don’t want to get caught at it. But you’re going to give me the information anyway.

This information as a result of my recent departmental research, i had to call them to question but they tried to bribe me, but i refused because i am not a cheat. I have to inform you that your! Funds interest at a tune of usd$14.1 million was transferred into a Swiss account provided by a fake lawyer portrayed himself to be your lawyer.I must inform you that the officers involved are always in communication with you , so you should stop talking with them and do not tell them that you are waiting for the transfer.

These people are always in communication with me, are they? What assures you of this?

Since we have an evidence at hand, you are hereby advised to contact the authorized (C.B.N) security and finance company in Abuja who is in control of your payment and the approved lawyer attached to the security and finance company in the name of Mr. Alex Orbed and explain everything to him as your file was sent to him on the 30th April, 2009 and when contacting the lawyer quote your file reference number CBN/PTF/XX/009 he is the straw that breaks the camels back.

O-o-o-o-o-kay. Poor man. For that matter, poor camel.

Inspired by the song in the previous post, my family got creative over dinner. I present the following with profound apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein:

Tentacles dripping with unsightly ichor,
Thin little shoggoths that quickly grow thicker,
Nightgaunts that fly with the claws on their wings,
These are a few of the awfulest things.

When the sun shines,
When the cat purrs,
When I’m feeling glad,
I’ll simply remember the awfulest things,
And then I will feel real bad.

Update:

Cyclopean temples with angles that fright you,
Dead gods that dream there and rise up and smite you,
Cultists that gibber to make them draw near,
These are a few of the things that I fear.

To the tune of “My Favorite Things.” Feel free to add your own verses.

All Lovecraft fans need to watch/listen to this.

A combination Lego and Photography blog, sort of.

Saw a neat T-shirt this noon whilst having lunch with my daughter. A young woman, obviously pregnant, came in; she was wearing a black T-shirt with an ultrasound scan across her tummy and the words, “Yes, It’s a Boy.”

A chance segue on iTunes just revealed something to me that I had not previously. Weird Al’s song “Mr. Frump in the Iron Lung” has the same tune as Arlo Guthrie’s song “Alice’s Restaurant”.

Who knew?

Pokéthulhu: Gotta Catch You All.

I’ve been memed by Heather at The Practicing Catholic, and I must say I’m in good company. Being a spoilsport I’m not going to tag anyone else (hey, I’m on vacation!) but I will respond to the meme-ing. The rules are:

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell about six unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag six fellow bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the six blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

Obviously I’m not going to do 4 or 5. Anyway, here goes: six quirks:

1. I cannot abide the thought of eating crustaceans. I say they are giant bugs, and I say the hell with them. Most people I know applaud this attitude, as it leaves more for them.

2. I have no real taste for poetry. I enjoy light comic verse (i.e., Lewis Carroll) but serious poetry generally leaves me cold. In my world (software development), communicating clearly and concisely is the most important thing. Whether my lack of taste for poetry is a cause or a symptom, I dunno. I generally regard this as a personal flaw.

3. I have no real interest in travelling to foreign countries. I’ve twice been to Australia on business; in the past I’ve had opportunities to fly to Germany and Korea on business. I’ve been glad to decline. Please note, this is no reflection on Australia, Germany, or Korea; and if I had the funds to fly First Class (or even Business Class) I’d possibly feel differently about it.

4. I like peanut butter more than most people. I suppose that really ought to be “more than most people do”; but it might possibly be true either way.

5. I have never seen an episode of Lost, 21, or any of a number of other shows I hear people enthusing about. I stopped watching TV about the time I got out of college. I started watching again when my kids were really small, because it’s something to do while holding an infant; but when my eldest announced that he couldn’t get his homework done because he had to watch his cartoons, I said, “Oh, really? I can fix that!” and disconnected the cable. It’s been that way for about three years now. (We don’t watch broadcast TV, either.) I’ve seen about half of the episodes of Firefly, though, since a friend of mine has them on DVD.

6. I have never been seriously drunk. Scratch a computer programmer, find a control-freak; I don’t like the feeling of not being able to control my limbs.

There you have it. Six things you didn’t need to know. But now they are in your head, and you won’t be able to get rid of them.