Q: How do soccer hooligans do the hokey-pokey?

A: You put the left boot in, you pull the left boot out, you put the left boot in, and you kick him all about…

Here are some of the more interesting queries that have led folks to visit us here at the Foothills.

saxon algebra 1 an incremental development third edition answers: Not only don’t I have the answers, I don’t even have the questions. I’ve written about many books, but this isn’t one of them.

is there oil in the foothills: Yes, several kinds. We buy it in bottles at a place near our home. We call it a supermarket.

bundle of meanings: Well, we’ve got that all right.

Techniker Krankenkasse suspicious: Technically speaking, yes, there is oil in my car’s krankenkasse, just as you suspect. That comes in bottles, too, but we don’t get them at the supermarket.

battle of mohács anima: Who won?

what does foothills mean?: It means hills that aren’t too steep to walk up.

Jane and I went out to a show last night: an evening with John Cleese, who as, as expected, extremely funny. The bulk of the show was a retrospective of his life and career, with anecdotes and film clips.

If I got started talking about all of the funny bits I’d be here all night, but there were a couple of bits that I found particularly interesting. First, before working with the rest of the Pythons, John Cleese and Graham Chapman did a show with Marty Feldman; it was Feldman’s first appearance as a performer (he was a writer, actually), and Cleese was the one who suggested that he be part of the cast. Second, Cleese said his happiest moment from his five years with Monty Python was when he read the Cheese Shop Sketch to the other Pythons, and Michael Palin laughed so hard he fell of his chair and couldn’t get up for a couple of minutes.

Apparently Cleese got his dark sense of humor from his mum, who lived to be over 100; she was born (IIRC) 1899, and died in 2002. She suffered from depression, and John would call and hear about it the things that were getting her down (she was an omniphobe, he told us) and finally one time he said, “Well, mum, I know this man in Fulham, and if you like, if you like, I’ll have him come round and kill you.” And she laughed, amazingly, and it became their private joke. “Well, mum, shall I send round to the man in Fulham?” “Oh, no dear, not this week, I have a sherry party on Friday.”

I guess it’s nice to know he came by it naturally.

…that Zero Mostel never got to play Nero Wolfe. If he could have been persuaded (possibly with a large hammer) to play it deadpan, it could have been marvelous. Picture Zero Mostel, in Wolfe’s leather chair, looking up from his book to say

Pfui!

Now, who to cast as Archie?

I’ve discovered that I possess a new magical skill: observomancy. Yes, I am an observomancer.

What is observomancy, you ask? It is nothing more nor less than the magical ability to find out what’s going on by paying attention.

I promise to use this power only for good.

I got this e-mail the other day:

Dear loved one.

I saw your profile on the site and wish to contact you after seeing your profile, you appear gentle, I humble wish you will aspect my request to be my lovely friend.

Let me introduce my self to you as gentle hansom young graduate that is interested in
knowing you and having you as a lovely friend so kindly welcome my request.

My dear I am presently waiting for your positive reply that will keep us as friends
forever.

Regards.

Gerald.

I have no idea what the individual is after; but what I love best about the letter is that it’s addressed to “undisclosed-recipients;:”. I’m also glad to know that there are still a few young hansoms left in the world.

Via Brandon, I’ve found out how to get my very own cyborg name and avatar:

Get Your Cyborg Name

I think that works for me. Alternatively, I could be a monster:

Get Your Monster Name

However, I like being a cyborg better.