Category Archives: Kids

First Communion Retreat

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Today I shall be attending a “First Communion Retreat” with my youngest, who will be making her first communion in about a month. This is a new thing for me. They’ve been doing these retreats for the kids for some years, but I think this is the first time they have asked a parent to attend as well. At least, it’s the first time we’ve been asked.

I’m quite curious about it. I don’t know whether I’ll be with my daughter all morning, or whether the adults and kids are going to spend some time getting catechized separately. (I’m hoping the later; more adult faith formation is a Good Thing.)

Overheard

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Just overheard a small altercation coming from the girls’ room:

All right, you keep her. She’s no longer friends with any of my toys.

Narrative Causality

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So I was telling my son about the RPG I’ve been playing. It seems that the advisor to the King is a demon, and he’s taken complete control of the King’s mind.

“So you’re going to have to kill the king?” asks my son.

“No,” I say, “the Queen’s ghost has asked me to free him from the curse.”

“He won’t ever be the same, though,” says my son. “That’s usually the way.”

Go Fish

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A few weeks ago, tired of playing Uno over and over with my kids, I dug out a couple of decks of Bicycle Cards and taught the kids how to play Crazy 8’s. A few days later, I taught my youngest to play Go Fish.

Five minutes ago, my eleven-year-old, who delights in video games, came into my study to get a deck of Bicycle Cards so he could teach his friend how to play Go Fish.

I feel all retro all of a sudden.

What do you call a knight…

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The other day, my eldest asked, “What do you call a dragon who is knighted?”

The answer, of course, is “Sir Pent.” And then, what do you call a knight who never does what you expect? “Sir Prize”. And of course we’ve all heard of Sir Osis of Liver and Sir Loin of Beef.

This led to a variety of additional knights.

What do you call a knight who has won an award? Sir Tificate.

What do you call a knight who always gives up too quickly?
Sir Render.

What do you call a knight who studies science and philosophy? Sir Reebral per Suits.

What do you call a knight whose long and involved quests take him all over the countryside before he returns to his castle? Sir Kewitus Root.

What do you call a knight who’s excessively fat? Sir Kewlarity of Girth.

What is his brother’s name? Sir Cumference.

What do you call a knight who’s sure of what he knows?
Sir Ten.

Uh, What?

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My five-year-old daughter and her five-year-old friend Lucy just walked into the room where my older daughter was about to play a video game. Says Lucy:

I want to play a game with you. A queen and princess game. I’m the queen, and you two are the princesses.

To which my five-year-old adds:

And anyway, I have a bracelet.

Wait, what?

No, But You’re Thinking About It

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So we were at church today, and my two girls were fighting over who got to sit next to Mom. I finally pulled the more egregious offender (the five-year-old) onto my lap, facing away from her sister.

She sat there for a while, sobbing; and then, when she got over it, she sat up a little, and slowly turned to face the front. And then she slowly moved one leg around my knee. And then she started swinging that leg little by little.

And then I said, in her ear, “Leave your sister alone.” “I wasn’t touching her!” “No, but you were thinking about it.” And she frowned, and the leg came back around my knee.

It’s nice to know that after four kids I can finally figure out what a five-year-old is thinking.