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Author Archives: wjduquette
Idle Hands
We’ve got three cupboards in our “play room”. This is where the TV
is; it’s also the one room we could easily close off with a gate to
keep the little ones inside. It’s like a big playpen. The cupboards
are all “locked” with those white plastic two-piece babyproofing locks:
the kind that you snug down around the knobs on a pair of double
cupboard doors so they can’t be opened?
The middle cupboard has toys and games in it, most dating from when
I was a kid. Even David is still too little for most of them, so
the cupboard stays locked all of the time.
I was reading my e-mail after dinner when Jane called up to my study,
“Will, Dave, can you come down? I need some help.” We duly came down,
and found Jane sitting in the play room. James and Anne had gotten
into the middle cupboard, and there was my childhood scattered all over the
floor. There were crayons, coloring books, barnyard animals, two sets of
dominoes, a couple of games, some puzzle pieces, and a number of decks of
cards: one Peanuts-themed Old Maid deck, two normal decks, both dirty,
one oversized deck, and a Flinch deck. That’s only a fraction of what’s in
that cupboard (for which God be praised), but it was still enough to cover
about ten or twelve square feet of carpeting.
I gather that Flinch is a card game intended for
people who class regular playing cards with short skirts, dancing, and
alcohol. I’ve never played Flinch, and while I believe my mom played
Flinch when she was a little girl I don’t believe the set we have has
ever been used, except that I used to take the cards out and fiddle with
them when I was little. They are in remarkably good shape, all things
considered.
Oh, and there was a little box filled with little stars–the kind
elementary school teachers used to award. That got dumped out, too.
It took us a good half-an-hour to get everything squared away enough
to vacuum, by which time it was time to get the kids to bed.
James has solemnly promised not to let Anne into the cupboard again.
We’ll see.
UPDATE: I just sat down to do something else, scratched my knee,
and found six more of those little stars stuck there. I expect we’ll be
finding them floating about for days.
Death and the Chapman, and The Plymouth Cloak, by Kate Sedley
Sedley writes mysteries set in 1400’s in England during the War of the
Roses. Her detective is Roger the Chapman, a failed monk who peddles door
to door from his pack–oddments like laces, needles, pins and assorted
pieces of fabric. The conceit is that he is telling each story looking
back on his life from old age, 50 years after the action has taken place.
“Death and the Chapman” is the first in the series and sets up the life
of Roger leaving the monastery to seek his fortune on the road after his
mother dies and frees him from his obligation to fulfill her wishes that
he become a monk. The cloistered life is not for him so he buys a pack of
inventory from a retiring Chapman and sets out. He discovers, eventually,
that the son of a wealthy Alderman has disappeared on a journey to London
and promises to investigate when he reaches London.
The Plymouth Cloak follows shortly afterwards when Roger is asked to
protect a messenger of the Duke of Gloucester on his journey to deliver a
secret letter to France. The Plymouth Cloak refers to the club that Roger
carries as his weapon on the journey. Unfortunately, he and the messenger
are not particularly compatible and his discovery that the guy has
engaged in kidnapping young children and dwarves and selling them to
royalty for court jesters doesn’t endear him either. They are attacked
and Roger must figure out if the attacks are directed at the message they
carry or are retribution for the messenger’s former shady trade.
These were ok mysteries. The action dragged in places and I often wished
she’d hurry up and put something into the plot to make it more
interesting. The period detail was there but could have been done better.
Roger isn’t a compelling detective. He seems to stumble upon the answer
rather than figure it out. I kept comparing these books to Ellis Peter’s
Brother Cadfael mysteries and they seriously fall short of the standard
Peters created. I have one more in the series that I purchased along with
these so perhaps they will improve as they go along. If you like medieval
mysteries, they might be worth picking up at a used bookstore. I doubt I
would pay full price for them, though. There are too many really good
mysteries out there.
Sleep While I Sing, by L.R. Wright
I have read other mysteries by Wright and been impressed with her plot
lines and general writing so when I found this one in the used bookstore
I pulled it off the shelf right away. After I got home, I realized they
charged me $6 for it because it’s out of print but, hey, it’s less than
the price of a movie and it took me at least a couple hours to read it.
The story opens on a rainy night with the murder of the young woman by
some shadowy man in a dark clearing in a woods outside of Sechelt,
British Columbia. No names, no motives and no descriptions of the people
involved. Fortunately, Sechelt is blessed to have Staff Sergeant Karl
Alberg, of the CMP, to handle figuring out the who’s and why’s of it. Not
that he fits the profile of a Mountie, mind you. He’s slightly
overweight, doesnÂ’t wear the red uniform, is middle-aged and drives a
beat-up car rather than flinging himself on a horse. His subordinates
aren’t really movie Mountie material either. Plus Alberg has his eye
on the local librarian who, unfortunately, is having an affair with a
movie star taking a sabbatical from the pace of life in California. As
the lone stranger in town, the movie star is the prime suspect.
The whole thing sounds pretty lame but it actually reads quite well.
Summarize the plot to a Stephen King novel (who I think is a dynamite
storyteller), and it sounds just as hokey. Wright uses the weather
beautifully, particularly the rain, to add to the eerieness and suspense
of having a murderer in the town. There’s brush and brambles and dripping
water and fog. She adds some local color characters that ring true and
sets up some other possible victims that you just know are going to get
it next. My only beef is that the ending moved a little too fast. She
could have drawn it out a little more and gave the killer more lines but,
all in all, I really like this book.
I wish I could find more of her books. Sadly, none of the chains carry her.
Barstow
Fifteen years ago, as our wedding day drew nearer, people would
ask us, “Will, Jane, where are you going on your honeymoon?” And we’d
tell them, gleefully, “Barstow”. And they’d say, “Barstow!?” And we’d
reply, smiling smugly, “Barstow”. And they’d walk away thinking we just
didn’t want to tell them where we were going.
They were right, of course. But the joke was, we actually did go to
Barstow. That is to say, we went to Sedona, Arizona, and to get there we
took the train from Pasadena, and that train stopped for half-an-hour in
the railroad yard in Barstow. To be honest, I never expected to spend
more time there than that.
For those who have never heard of Barstow, it’s somewhat less than
halfway between Los Angeles and Los Vegas. It started life as a railroad
town (it boasts one of the original Harvey Houses) and so far as I know
still mostly is a railroad town. But it’s also the nearest town of any
size to Fort Irwin, home to the Goldstone Deep Space Communications
Complex, one of JPL’s three spacecraft ground stations.
And since my project at JPL produces hardware and software for GDSCC,
sometimes I need to go there. And unless I’m prepared to drive there and
back in one day, that means I end up spending the night…in Barstow.
The nearest bookstore of any size is about thirty miles away, in Victorville.
Tonight I am, you guessed, spending the night in Barstow. Tomorrow I get
to get up, bright and early, and drive yet another hour into the desert
for a fun-filled day of Acceptance Testing, after which I will turn
around and drive home.
Sanity might require me to make a brief stop in Victorville. We’ll see.
A Bad Spell in Yurt, by C. Dale Brittain
I remember when this book first came out. I remember picking it up,
looking it over, and saying to myself, “Oh. Another incompetent wizard.
How nice.” Then I put it back on the shelf. At that point I’d read a
number of Terry
Pratchett‘s books about Rincewind the inept
wizard, and a number of Craig Shaw Gardner’s books about
Wuntvor the Eternal Apprentice, as well as several other singletons along
the same lines, and frankly I was tired of the whole thing. I’m still
very fond of Rincewind, but you couldn’t pay me to read anything by
Craig Shaw Gardner these days (nor for many years prior to
this one). But I was browsing about the bookstore the other day, and saw
it on the shelf, and thought to myself, “You know, this book has been
continuously in print for the last ten years. Perhaps it’s better than
I expected.” So I bought it, and today (so as not to go through the
Heinleins I bought too quickly) I picked it up and read it.
Frankly, it was a victim of bad packaging. Daimbert, the hero, isn’t so
much inept as lazy; as a student he’d been too fond of drinking and
skipping lectures to learn what he was supposed. And while the cover
makes it look like a zany comedy, it’s really nothing of the kind, which
is a good thing–few authors are really good at it, and bad zany comedy
is unspeakably bad, like a failed souffle. Which is why I no longer read
Craig Shaw Gardner; I made the mistake of trying to read one
of his books aloud to Jane once. Like the souffle it fell; and there was
no point in trying to revive it again.
But I digress. Daimbert, new graduate of the Wizard’s School in the
City, is hired as Royal Wizard of a small kingdom called Yurt. And
Daimbert hasn’t been there very long when it becomes clear that there’s
something wrong. The King is aging unnaturally; Daimbert’s wizard locks
are broken; the evil something the previous Royal Wizard though he had
permanently pent up in his tower chamber is gone. And eventually,
Daimbert figures out what it is.
As a mystery, the book is only so-so; the clues were clear enough that by
the time Daimbert fingered the nominal culprit the answer had been
obvious for quite a long while. But as a fantasy, it was quite
competent, and it provided me an entertaining afternoon while Jane was
celebrating her birthday. (She had a group of girlfriends to an English High
Tea. I was not invited. I was not sorry not to be invited, either.
Some things Man was not meant to know.) The book has a good heart.
One other thing that’s worthy of note: it’s one of the few fantasy or
science fiction novels I’ve read in quite a long while in which organized
religion is treated at all positively; and more surprisingly, the
religion is Christianity. What a Christian church is doing in a fantasy
world I have no idea; but the local priest, while lacking somewhat in
humor, becomes Daimbert’s good friend. The presentation of Christianity
is neither detailed nor profound (nor, in this sort of book, should it be
either)–but the very fact that it’s positive is remarkable.
Alas!
There’s a Mongolian Barbecue restaurant we like to go to.
Jane and I like it because we like the food, and the boys like it because
they get to eat won-ton chips and jello, and little Anne likes it because
we’re all there. Plus, they’ve always been very friendly when we come
in, despite the fact that we always bring in a troop of messy little
kids. So we enjoy ourselves, and tip well.
The last time we tried to go there, they were closed; the sign said that
they’d be closed for a month, as they were on vacation. So we waited;
and tonight we tried going there again. Lo, how the mighty have fallen!
They looked at our kids with disdain. The table wasn’t particularly
clean. The beef hadn’t been trimmed well, and was full of gristle. The
steamed rice and pocket bread arrived when I was almost halfway through
eating, instead of when I got back to the table with my barbecue. The
rice was dry, with crunchy bits. Jane
had to ask for water repeatedly. We asked for a booster seat for James
repeatedly, and never got one. Plus, the Diet Coke tasted off, though
that can happen to anyone. The pocket bread was better than usual; that
was the sole point of light.
So happens, we didn’t recognize any of the servers. My suspicion
is that it’s under new management; or perhaps a new branch of the family
that owns it came out to run it; or perhaps there’s a different team on
Sunday. But however it came to happen, we weren’t impressed, and I doubt
we’ll go back any time soon.
Sigh.
Farmer in the Sky, by Robert A. Heinlein
This is book about pioneering, survival, and the Boy Scouts–on Ganymede,
one of Jupiter’s satellites (A condensed version of it appeared in
Boy’s Life magazine). And actually, it’s
quite good, and has much, much less of the dated feel of
Starman Jones, despite having been written three years earlier.
I had somewhat the same feeling reading this as I did reading
1632 a month or so ago–a sense that I was reading about
values that our popular culture has done its best to trivialize
out of existence. When did basic morality become something to laugh at,
rather than to adhere to? When did the Boy Scout Oath start seeming
quaint? I think we’re coming to a time when such things will seem less
like a laughing matter, and more like a way of life. I sure hope so.
But anyway, it’s a good book. I liked it.
A Civil Campaign, by Lois McMaster Bujold
Will suggested I read the books in this series in order so that I don’t
spoil them by knowing too much ahead of time and I would agree that is
the way to go. You have to have all the background so that you can
FINALLY get to the best book in the series and actually get all the jokes
Bujold throws at you in such short a time. And while you are at it, you
might want to brush up on Jane Austen and Bronte and the others she lists
in her dedication because they all show up in the book one way or the
other. So do Hamlet and Rumpole but you donÂ’t really need to know them
as well.
The plot is fairly simple. Miles falls in love and, being Miles, sets
about courting with the same tactics he used to take over planets and
conduct covert ops for ImpSec. Unfortunately, he forgets to include his
lady love in on the mission plan. Also unfortunately, his brother, Lord
Mark, has been undergoing therapy on Beta colony for his, um, “issues”
and met up with the brainy, chesty daughter of Miles’ mother’s former
female bodyguard. And Lord Mark comes home with a scheme to make money on
Barrayar using genetically altered bugs that make something like tofu in
their guts, setting up shop in the basement of Vorkosignan House. Oh yes,
and Emperor Gregor is getting married and the entire city of Vorbarra
Sultana is preparing for the social and political event of the season,
including poor Ivan who is assigned to run errands for his mother, Lady
Alys, who is in charge of the entire wedding and tired of her son running
after anything in skirts and not settling down to provide her with
grandchildren. And that’s the simple version of the plot. I left out all
the sub plots, including the sex change operation of Lady Donna to get
herself a Vor Countship and dear Pym, playing straight man in the whole
mess.
If you are a Miles fan and haven’t read this one, buzz thru the books
before so you can read this one. Go back and reread the others later for
themselves. It’s worth it just to read the scene where Miles throws a
dinner party. Honest!
Starman Jones, Robert A. Heinlein
I’ve been avoiding Heinlein’s juveniles for years because of bad
experiences I had with them in elementary school. I tried reading two or
three of them–of which this might or might not be one, I’m not sure–and
every one of them seemed to begin with some poor kid in an intolerably
painful clash with authority and no appeal. At the time, this was not
something I was prepared to cope with. Those I’ve read in the last few
years have done nothing to weaken that impression; in fact, I think it’s
truer than I realized. Fortunately I’m no longer twelve and can get
past all that.
But all of Heinlein’s work appears to be back in print these days, so on
the strength of the Heinlein books I read on my recent trip to Vancouver
I’ve decided to make the effort to pick up the rest of the set. Here’s
the first of the lot.
Starman Jones is the tale of Max Jones, a young kid in
trouble. His dad is long dead, leaving him to run the farm and support
his step-mother; his step-mother has married the town
ne’er-do-well; his late uncle the Astrogator neglected to add his nephew’s
name to the rolls of the Astrogators’ Guild. For Max lives in a future
United States where all of the professions are controlled by hereditary
guilds. He has the talents and many of the skills he needs to go to
space, and no way to get there.
Of course these little problems are resolved satisfactorily, with a
plethora of exciting adventures; but what struck me most is Heinlein’s
impression of what space flight would be like. (Note:
Starman Jones was written in 1953.) The most important person
on board ship is the Astrogator; it is his job to pilot the ship into the
charted anomalies which provide quick transport around the galaxy. To do
the job, the Astrogator must track the ship’s position minute by minute as
the ship approaches the anomaly; he must continually compute and apply course
correction factors or the ship might be lost in space when it leaves the
anomaly again. He has the help of a couple of chartsmen and a
“computerman”; the chartsmen feed him numbers from a book of tables, and
the computerman enters the result of the Astrogator’s calculations
into the ship’s computer to perform the needed course corrections.
That’s right–the important calculations all take place in the
Astrogator’s head.
Even more interesting is the way in which they take sightings of the
ship’s position. They take photographs of the star field (real
photographs, on photographic plates) and compare them with photographs on
file or taken just previously.
It’s as though you built a starship with all 1953 technology, except for
the space drive.
I do have to given Heinlein credit; he’s one of the few science fiction
authors who gives the feeling that he really understands what computing
orbits and trajectories is all about. And the mechanisms he describes
would probably do the job. But man! Just thinking of relying on
fallible human beings and brute force analog technology to do such
accurate computation in real time makes me cringe.
It’s a good book though; easily better than Red Planet.