Because you’ve all been very naughty, here’s a song from the 1960’s: Christmas with a Dalek.
Author Archives: wjduquette
Google in the 1960’s
What if Google existed in the 1960’s? Those of us who remember punchcards and line printers will enjoy this.
(h/t to Eolake Stobblehouse.)
Obscure Beauty
Pondering yesterday’s posts, on The Little Drummer Boy and on software that runs mazes, got me to thinking about obscure beauty.
There’s a beauty to well-written software. I’m not talking about attractive user interfaces or pretty graphics; I’m talking about how the software is put together inside, the way the individual pieces fit together. Well-designed software is pleasant to contemplate, and easy to modify and extend. Everything just works, and it’s easy to find things. Solving a software problem in a beautiful way can be an absolute joy.
Some few of my readers (the programmers, or at least some of them) are nodding their heads. The rest of you are shaking them, or, at best, thinking, “Yes, I can see how that could be true…but I certainly can’t see the beauty myself.” It’s an obscure kind of beauty, one that could only be appreciated by a very few people. And then, of those who might be able to see the beauty, I might be the only one who ever sees it. I may never make this code public, and even if I do, there’s no guarantee that anyone else would look at it.
But here’s the thing. God is the Good, the True, the Beautiful. Everything that is beautiful participates in the beauty of God; and to appreciate something beautiful is to in some small measure give glory to God, knowingly or unknowingly. Recognizing the beauty of creation and glorifying God is one of our functions on this earth.
Now, I spent the weekend making George run through mazes, and delighting in the software I was writing. Is it useful software? I dunno. Was my time spent productively? I dunno. But drummer boys gotta drum, and I gotta code…and I can offer the beauty of that code to God. And it’s likely that I’m the only person in the whole of time and space who will ever offer exactly that small obscure beauty to His Glory. And that’s a great and glorious thing. Makes me feel special.
But if there’s beauty that I’m uniquely suited to spot, there’s beauty that you’re uniquely suited to spot, either because of your interests and talents, or simply because of your place and time. Let’s not miss it.
A Confession
I have a confession to make.
I like the song “The Little Drummer Boy.”
No, really. It brings tears to my eyes.
Every so often this time of year I read snarky comments about it: “Yeah, I bet Mary was pleased as punch to have some punk kid come start banging a drum right when Baby Jesus had finally fallen asleep.” And yeah, I admit, it’s a bit of a stretch. But then the singer gets to this part:
I played my drum for him, pa-rump-a-pum-pum
I played my best for him, pa-rump-a-pum-pum
Then he smiled at me, pa-rump-a-pum-pum
Me and my drum.
And then I start to weep. I feel stupid, but I do it anyway.
Because that’s what Jesus wants from us: to play our best for him. What I have to offer might seem insufficient, or trivial, or foolish. But that’s what I’ve got, and that’s what he wants from me: that, and no less.
Of course, it has to be done right: the singer has to sing it like he means it…which is why my favorite version of the song is Ringo Starr’s. I don’t know whether there was any religious feeling there when he recorded it; but by golly he plays his drum, and he plays his best, and whether he meant to or not he’s offering his playing as a gift to Our Saviour. God bless him.
Running the Maze
This weekend I’ve been busy programming “mobiles”, creatures that can move around in the maze. In fact, I’ve implemented two mobiles, George and the roach. George is a simple guy; there’s a treasure chest, and he means to find it, provided that he doesn’t get killed doing so. The roach is even simpler: it has a magnetic attraction to George, and will always move closer to George if it can. It’s not smart about walls, though, so it often gets stuck in corners.
The game is simple. If the roach catches George, it wins. If George gets to the chest before the roach catches him, he wins. If George can’t get to the chest but the roach can’t get him, it’s a draw.
Early on in development, George got eaten a lot; he was smart about moving to the chest, but dumb about avoiding the roach. He’s smarter, now, but he still gets eaten sometimes. Here’s an animation that shows the action.

More frequently, the roach just gets stuck somewhere rather distant from George. As I say, the roach is no genius.

And once in a while, things get exciting.

George is pretty smart. At each step, he figures out the best route to the chest that doesn’t get too close to the roach. If there is none, he’ll back away from the roach until he gets stuck. But if a route opens up, he’ll take it.
Hide Me Among The Graves
As soon as I saw Jeff Miller’s mention of Tim Power’s latest, Hide Me Among The Graves, a sequel to his 1989 book The Stress of Her Regard, I went out (metaphorically) and snagged an e-copy. I’ve been a Powers fan since the ’80’s, and pick up anything new whenever I happen to run across it.
Jeff describes it as a “vampire” story, which is not incorrect, but it’s also pretty much entirely misleading. Powers’ vampires are identified with the Nephilim of the book of Genesis; there’s more of stone than of flesh about them, and they have a tendency to get fixated on individual human beings. The thing is, they don’t usually kill their immediate victims, the ones they fixate on; but they are jealous and tend to kill anyone loved by their victims. This makes them hard to live with.
As is usual with Powers, there’s a historical angle. In this case the light shines on poet Christina Rosetti and her siblings, especially her brother Dante Gabriel Rosetti, one of the Pre-Raphaelite painters, and their friends, including poet Algernon Swinburne. The Rosettis, it develops, were the nieces and nephews of John Polidori, who was the author of Varney the Vampyre, a friend of Shelley, Byron, and company, one of the party at which Mary Shelley began to write Frankenstein, and a significant character in The Stress of Her Regard. As Polidori died under the influence of one of the Nephilim, one might say that he’s a signficant character in this book as well. See, here’s the thing: the Nephilim are like a kind of fatal muse, ultimately destructive but inspiring in the short term.
So anyway, I grabbed the book, and alas! it did not reciprocate. I don’t know whether it was the book, or whether it’s me—The Stress of Her Regard is probably my least favorite of Powers’ books—or whether I just wasn’t in the right mood, but I never really got into it. I finished it, mind you, but I read it in dribs and drabs instead of getting caught up in it and staying up too late.
Bottom line: if you’ve not read Powers, he’s worth reading; I’d start with The Anubis Gates, Last Call, or Declare. If you already know you like Powers, read The Stress of Her Regard first, and move on to this one if you like it.
Arrrrrrgh!
Our phone service went out this morning, along with our Internet service. AT&T is going to send a technician on Tuesday. (!) Things will be quiet around here until all is resolved.
Mazes! With New Improved Tiles!
I originally started implementing maze algorithms in order to write a Rogue-like dungeon crawling game. And a dungeon should look like a dungeon, not a maze on a kid’s place mat at a family restaurant. So here’s a maze drawn with graphic tiles for stone walls and floors.

Odds and Manners
I’d like to direct your attention to two blog posts by Sarah Hoyt. In the first, Sarah takes about being “an odd”, a person who never quite fits in, or at least never quite feels they fit in. On the way she talks about why it might be that men like Karl Marx created ideologies that idealized particular groups while being nasty to individual members of those groups. It’s an interesting hypothesis.
In the second, she talks about the importance of manners, and shares some intriguing memories. Her remembrance of the women who tried to teach her manners is an illustration of what happens when you forget the parenting maxim, “Never attribute to willfulness what can be adequately explained by ignorance.”
What, you’ve never heard that maxim before? Not surprisingly, as I just made it up—it’s a riff on the old line, “Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity.” But it’s a maxim I’ve sometimes failed to heed, and as Sarah’s tale shows, that’s a Bad Thing.
I Left My Brains in San Francisco
In I Left My Brains in San Francisco, Karina Fabian’s new novel, zombie exterminator Neeta Lyffe is travelling to San Francisco’s Moscone Center for ZomZeitgeber, the international zombie exterminator’s trade show. Yes, it’s a sequel to Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator, which somehow I unaccountably failed to review when I read it last year. This is frustrating, because I was all set to point at my old review and say “As before, so now.” Alas!
OK, here’s the shtick. In Neeta Lyffe’s world, zombies are a fact of life. Anyone who dies and is buried without a whole spine is at risk of coming back as a zombie; and anyone bitten by a zombie is likely to die and come back PDQ. In general folks have learned to live with this, calling in a professional zombie exterminator when they get out of hand. And zombie exterminators, needless to say, rely on a variety of weaponry up to and including hazmat suits and spray bottles of cleaning supplies…because zombies really hate cleaning supplies.
Did I say that Fabian’s playing this for laughs? She is. Horror, too, but mostly laughs.
In Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator, Neeta is tapped to be the host of a new reality show, Zombie Death Extreme, in which she trains a bunch of novices to be real zombie exterminators. Thing is, some of the zombies are real, and death is a real possibility. The producer’s a jerk (if I recall correctly), and Neeta hates the whole thing—she’s only doing because one of her customers (another jerk) sued her for property damage after she saved him from being zombified, and she needs the money. But she and her crew sure come in handy when there’s a massive zombie outbreak in Burbank, California. (Right across the freeway from Ikea and the Media City Center mall…Fabian described the geography so well that I could take you to the exact spot.)
In the new book, Neeta’s off to the trade show with her boyfriend; and of course, the course of true love does not Run Smooth. Plus, there’s another zombie exterminator hitting on her, and the zombie outbreak from the offshore eco-freak reef burial site. (Turns out that environmentalist zombies moan “Green!” as they attack you.)
I found this one to be more uneven than its predecessor; the romance subplot was occasionally tedious, and since the plot involves a new Government Motors vehicle that runs on fuel produced from human waste, the potty humor gets a little, um, ripe. But I enjoyed it; it’s a good, light read, and made me laugh. If Fabian produces another Neeta Lyffe book, I plan to buy it.