From my quote journal:

And, of course, it is difficult, almost intolerable, for us to live with the awareness of ourselves as other than wholly good, successful, happy, strong, and so on. That is why we find it so hard to live with ourselves in truth. We should prefer to live with someone we could admire more wholeheartedly. So we try to present ourselves in some way that we can admire. And so we deceive ourselves.

— Simon Tugwell, The Beatitudes