So we went and saw The Voyage of the Dawn Treader this past weekend. I had low expectations—see my review of the movie erroneously called Prince Caspian to see how low—and so I guess I have to say I was pleased. It was frequently stupid, and often absurd, but it wasn’t evil.

First, the Good. Reepicheep was a delight. The Dawn Treader itself was gorgeous. Eustace was well-done. The Dufflepuds were funny. The closing credits, with Pauline Baynes-inspired drawings, were fabulous. The Dark Island was particularly well-rendered; I’d always wondered just what it would look like, and now I know. The visuals were stunning throughout. They sort of followed the plot of the book, a little. They changed a lot of stuff, but many of the changes make sense.

So much for that; now for the Stupid and the Absurd. (If you’ve not seen it, you might want to stop reading.)

• There was far too much “You just have to BE-L-E-E-E-E-E-VE and everything will be all right.” It ain’t so, no how, no matter how many times Hollywood says it is.
• The direction was frequently odd. Shouldn’t Lucy and Caspian have been a little more surprised to find each other in the middle of the ocean, hundreds of miles from anywhere?
• OK, so Lord Drinian comes in and explains that they have two weeks rations left, and that they need to turn back immediately if they are to make it back to their previous landfall. Well, yes—but he gives this advice in the middle of a storm when the ship is racing along before the wind with reefed sails. In this situation, turning back is Not An Option. Not unless you like drowning.
• An island of “pure evil”? There’s no such thing as pure evil; evil is necessarily parasitic on good.
• It was less a movie than a video game, and not a very interesting one: enter the world, explore a little, receive a quest, hunt down the seven swords one by one, fight the big boss using the power of the seven swords, game over. (It would have been nice if the power of the seven swords made any sense.)
• Not to mention that the big boss is the Staypuft Marshmallow Serpent—a name I wish I had made up, but I confess read it somewhere.
• They left out one of the best lines in the entire series. Eustace apologies for being an ass, and Edmund says, “You were just an ass; I was a traitor.”

I could go on; but on the whole I’m grateful that they got as much right as they did.