Dr. Boli’s Celebrated Magazine is exceptionally and delightfully odd. I’ve not seen anything quite like it on the web; and it’s one of the very few blogs that’s worth going right back to the beginning and reading all of the way through. It’s essentially an extended and open-ended work of fiction consisting of selections from a Victorian-era magazine that has continued to the present day without giving into the modern era in any way. The author gets the tone exactly right–and the contents, are, as I say, delightfully odd, as witness a few selections from the early days of the Magazine.

First, an advertisement:

Mrs. Whittaker’s Platinum Elixir

Is the Only Sovereign Remedy for Gout, Constipation, Hives, Influenza, Lazy Eye, Ingrown Toenail, Acne, Post-Nasal Drip, Nervous Fidgeting, Sore Throat, Stammering, Falling Hair, Rising Hair, Pneumonia, Measles, Lice, Female Complaints, Warts, Attention Deficit Disorder, Sugars, Rickets, Poison Ivy, Athlete’s Foot, Arthritis, Marxism, Tennis Elbow, Osteoporosis, Shyness, the King’s Evil, Scarlet Fever, Mumps, Dyslexia, Malaria, Rubella, Scurvy, Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, Cancer, and Gangrene, and You Can’t Have It, Because Mrs. Whittaker Doesn’t Like You.

Next, a bit of Victorian travel writing, concerning a floating city:

When at last the gigantic signal flags unfurled and gave the command, and two thousand giant oars, worked in perfect unison by the most ingenious contrivance, began to beat the water with a mighty roar, the cheer that erupted from six thousand throats on our floating city was nearly deafening. Yet it was not so loud that we could not hear the even greater cheer from the land. And when, after perhaps a quarter-hour of rowing, the great sails began to billow, we could still hear the cheering from the coast. Bank after bank of sails unfurled, all brilliantly colored according to their functions, so that the hardy seamen charged with maintaining them could find their way in the forest of canvas. There were red sails, yellow sails, blue sails, and white sails, thousands of them, and as they caught the wind our Leviathan surged forward with a majestic delib erate ness that well became her. The cheering on the coast continued, but from us there was only awed silence.

And finally, from Dr. Boli’s Dictionary of Misinformation:

Canaries. Canaries and other talking birds are born speaking Hebrew, and can only with diffi culty be taught to pronounce a few words of other languages.

Released into the wild, canaries quickly learn to clip their own wings.

Hat tip to Happy Catholic, who linked to Dr. Boli a couple of days ago.